the fantasy

do you bleed , do you love , do you feel pain ?

i smile for the morning sun to rise

i sleeep waiting for dawn to wake me up

i live for god has purpose for me

i die for that purpose has been served

i embrace my existence with your touch

but the skies call my name

the moon my star

the sun my light

my dreams a sign

i end it all

with the beating of your heart

and my fantasy


- P.S; i skipped school today , i feeel happy !

Turn off this light, call my name

Don't talk, just ride

Who wouldn't let you be all about,

About me

I'm only trying to work this out

So, if you call me at all

Don't tell me that I'm ordinary

Cause I won't be passing you, please don't leave.

Oh, I hear you breathing on the line

Oh baby girl, I'm not your type

I'll leave you hurting every night

So I won't be coming back

Who wouldn't let me be all alone

Who wouldn't let me be all alone

Who wouldn't let you scream ohh to a soft pillow...



-FUCK EVERYTHING LAHH . CHIBYE . I HATE MYSELF LAH . CHIBYE CHIBYE CHIBYE CHIBYE CHIBYE . KNN . FUCK FUCK FUCK . blank blank blank blank . feeel so bloody blank .
write me up with your pen . my eyes wanna see your pen move acrosss the pages , write me a story . im tired of living , god . ARGH . WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY . DONT GO , PLEASE ... ARGH ... hahahahahaha , this sounds so pathetic man . like a cry baby . . nvm ... bye bye blog . i hate my blog i hate my life , i hate myself most of all . bye bye .

hold the gun close to my head

don`t pull the trigger just yet , darling

flash back memories of you and me

your touch never felt so paralyzing before

i am cold stiff

can you see the fear in my eyes?

my soul tortured by dreams of you

so give me this one last chance

to say this;

lean close,

" i love you "

- disappear , i shall sleep once more .

winds blowing me
closer to the edge is where i stand
the edge of my heart
pulsing blood rushes through my head
even in my death
the light
that shone through my painful darkness
was a blinding light of your eternal smile .

a moment to be real ?

shit lah . Kimmy Poopypants.

i feeeeeel miserabble . i mean like serious .

fuck it . i suck . iam running dry . i need new poems to keep me going . i need to dream again
i wanna feeel you baby . make me fly . fly high so high that the sun will burn my wings away and i`ll fall into your arms . hold me close for thats the only thing i wanna do right now . i wanna be the one that you think of . your drug . love a chemical so widely misunderstood . i stand before it . confuse and tired . sick of it really . i keeep coming back for more cause i want you . i really do .


stop this fucking addiction god , iam dancing on your mighty palm .
Pull my strings ....
A puppet i may be .
i long to be real
real to feel whats life
real to feel love again
real to taste your lips
push me aside as you wish
keeep me hanging by your thread
i`ll wait for the day for the wish
the wish of being real once again .


god , that sucked . ARGH ...

Ladies and gentlemen
Come from far come from wide
The moment you've all been waiting for
Tonight, join us as we explore the spine-chilling mystery of death
And the miracle of resurrection !!!!

So I'll toast every beat of my heart like a miracle.


I like your starry eyes
They yell, "Surprise, surprise!"


For you I'd count the salt under the sea

haha !!! random thoughts .


sch sucks ... friday worst day cause i overslept and most of my frens didnt come to school . so lonely . thank god still got joshua and rayen
NASRY, SHEIZAL , HIERRO ! COME BACK SCHOOL LAH ! I MISS YOU FUCKING PEOPLE LEH .. P.S the class is toooooo quiet without you guys .


take my hand cause iam reaching out to you baby , but will you take it ?
iam waiting . uncertainty fills me up . i want you but do you want me ?


i guess i can only dream of holding you close .

Do you know
How this feels to see your face when I close my eyes
do you know
that you leave me breathless...
do you know
that the spark in your eyes
warms up my soul
do you know
that i love you ?
cause every inch of you
leaves me wanting more ...

HEYYO BITCHES ! haha !!!
life is such a bore especially if youre sick .
stuck at home for ermmm 5 days?well , look on the brightside , i can skip art lessons !
3 cheers for skipping art !! haha . iam so dead man , havent even started on my june assignments yet / hisham will kill me ! . buy me a coffin 1st yeah . (:
ermmm , thats all folks ! sick boy needs his rest . back to school on tuesday ! YESH ! =D

Love ; flashes of light in your heart that causes you to act without using your brain .
heartbeat races to a point where you seem breathless when face to face with the one you adore.your head goes blank . your hands start to sweat . MOST OF ALL !! YOU BECOME ONE PATHETIC LOSER WHO CANT STOP THINKING NOTHING OTHER THAN THAT BOY/GIRL ALL DAY ! .
Warning! too much of this could kill you . but who cares ! we only want more ! =D
Possible side effects; memory loss , fear of sharp objects and the fear of not wearing pants.

long letters written in lipstick
and here i lay covered by your fingerprints
the suns coming up
i can tell you that
its shining for you
and with such grace
you shine through me
and with such grace
its never been this hard
to say that
i`ve never felt anything like this before
ooooh
i`ll say this once more just for you
to know that
i`ve fallen for you
faster than before ....
and i`ll chase you into the dark .

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SISTER ! YOURE TURNING ... i forget ..??
haha, so bad of me ayy.. nvm . theres a surprise party for her . too bad she dosent know..
haha . my family acted so well. that she acutally is in a bad mood rite. now thinkking we all forgot her birthday. hahahahahaha !!! =DD . well, see ya duddes.


ohyeah... i miss you.


such a lovely day to be tortured by dreams of you.

damn tired and sleepy in school today . monday was a waste . didnt go out with basil and frens . sad really damn stupid get grounded .... left wallet at home , haha , dumb uh me . no money go back home ... stupid ! . but my hero saved me ! NASRULHAQ ! thanks ! =D haha . cooked fried noodle .now is the part where iam suppose to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. really tired uh people . need change my sleeping habits ; well , thats all i guess .bye duddess


like a lover grasp upon the dark night
i hold you close and tight
fearing that the night might take you away from me
god ! oh god !
i plead , i scream
stay with me my dear
my soul screams your name
tearing the midnight sky apart
hold me close
cause i wanna breathe you
i wanna wake up in your arms
tonight .

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all
And here i rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night
-Death cab for cutie .

thats how iam feeling rite now . empty . hahahhaha ! isit cool or what ?
i bet no . huh . well , who cares . she didnt . wwhy should i . (:
the week was okay i guess . i survived ,bitch ! =DD
next thing to do : RULE THE WORLD WITH A MULTI COLOURED LOLLY! .

-byes duddes.

tired tired tired tired ! been falling asleep most of the time at school.

school is such a stupid thing even though its suppose to make you clever.rite? haha
laying waste at school dudes , my eyes cant seem to open up and pay attention to my teachers unless iam making stupid remarks . haha . dont know about myself these days , i feel so strange like something is out of place in me. yeahh , life sucks ... rite about now...

my most recent poem. hope you guys like it ... i just hate how it ends .


Hey,
can you see me baby ?
i`am waving to you , in the cold winds of the north
northern lights , a spectrum of colors
it reminds me of you .
i oh so miss you .
i miss your warmth that you bring to my heart on this cold lonely night .
i wish you could be with me right now , i know that you hear me
hear my cries for you for you ,
for our hearts are one
in this winter sonata .